Most Funny Birthday Wishes Ever
Who says birthday wishes have to be mushy and serious? Make your friends laugh on their birthday by sending a funny birthday message.
Not sure what to say? Don’t worry – we have 269+ hilarious wishes that you can send to the birthday boy or girl online on Facebook, email or in a text message.
good night husband texts
FUNNY HAPPY BIRTHDAY WISHES TO SHARE A SMILE
1. “Two older men sit on a park bench. One says, “Joe, I’m 84 years old, and I have nothing but aches and pains. How do you feel?” Joe says, “I feel like a newborn babe!” “Really, a newborn babe?” “Yes! I have no teeth, no hair, and I think I might’ve wet my pants!” Happy birthday!”
2. “Listen, I hate to be the one to do this, but you need to get your birthday habit under control. It’s been scientifically proven that too many birthdays will, in fact, kill you. So give it a rest will you?”
3. “Happy birthday! Want to feel young and thin again? Let’s go hang out with a bunch of old and fat people.”
4. “Happy birthday! You know you’re getting old when you never walk past a bathroom without saying “well, I’m here already – I may as well pee.””
5. “You know what they say: it’s better to be over the hill than buried 6 feet underneath it. Happy birthday!”
wedding anniversary message for parents
6. “On your birthday I’m going to share the secret to staying young: lying about your age.”
7. “Smile – today is your birthday. Be happy and remember that things could be worse. Just think about what you’ll be like in ten years – yikes!”
8. “Happy birthday! Congrats on joining the 28-years-old-forever club. We have millions of members all over the world.”
9. “Congratulations on finally reaching the snapdragon phase of your life: one part of you has snapped, and the other part of you is dragging. Happy birthday!”
10. “Happy birthday! They say that age is just a number. Yea right – and jail is just a room!”
11. “Don’t be bummed about your birthday! You know what they say: it’s better to be a year older than to be one month late. Happy birthday!”
mummy birthday wishes
12. “Happy birthday! Today, I would advise you to be nice to your kids. Remember, the older you get, the closer you get to having them choose a nursing home.”
13. “Wait – you’re how old today? You’re so lucky you’re not a dog. They would have put you down by now. Oh, well! Happy birthday!”
14. “Congratulations! You only look one year older than you did on your last birthday.”
15. “Happy birthday! May you live to be so old, people start wondering if you’re the walking dead.”
16. “Here’s to you on your birthday! May you live to be so old, you sincerely wish you were dead.”
17. “Happy birthday! Don’t let a 27-year old Olympic gold medal winner make you feel like a failure on your birthday.”
good night my love
18. “Happy birthday. I’m so sorry you’ve reached an age where pop culture marketers are no longer targeting you.”
19. “It’s a special day – your birthday! Let’s go out and celebrate you being one year closer to removing your age from your Facebook profile.”
20. “Happy birthday! Congrats on reaching an age that makes your receding hairline seem appropriate.”
21. “Forgetting your birthday was merely an April Fool’s Joke. Unless, of course, I did remember it, in which case – please disregard this message. Happy birthday!”
22. “I wish you a very happy birthday! Just please remember to tell me how old you’re pretending to be, so we can keep up the charade.”
23. “Happy birthday to a person whose age now makes them cry even more than the day they came into this world.”
24. “Happy birthday to someone who is now taking drugs on their birthday for serious medical reasons.”
25. “I’m so sorry for sending you belated birthday wishes. Honestly, I didn’t think you would live this long. Happy birthday!”
good morning my husband
26. “Happy birthday! I sincerely hope that you don’t take this early birthday message as a sign that you might not make it.”
27. “On your birthday, remember this: age is only a number that represents how attractive, happy and able-bodied you are. Really, it’s nothing to get worked up over. Happy birthday!”
28. “Wishes may come and go, but age always sticks with you. Happy birthday!”
29. “I believe you forgot my birthday present last year. I’m returning the favor this year. I’m afraid a Happy Birthday is all you’re going to get.”
30. “Happy summer birthday! Get out and enjoy it while you’re still young enough to not fall into the “high risk” category for heat stroke death.”
Not sure what to say? Don’t worry – we have 269+ hilarious wishes that you can send to the birthday boy or girl online on Facebook, email or in a text message.
good night husband texts
FUNNY HAPPY BIRTHDAY WISHES TO SHARE A SMILE
1. “Two older men sit on a park bench. One says, “Joe, I’m 84 years old, and I have nothing but aches and pains. How do you feel?” Joe says, “I feel like a newborn babe!” “Really, a newborn babe?” “Yes! I have no teeth, no hair, and I think I might’ve wet my pants!” Happy birthday!”
2. “Listen, I hate to be the one to do this, but you need to get your birthday habit under control. It’s been scientifically proven that too many birthdays will, in fact, kill you. So give it a rest will you?”
3. “Happy birthday! Want to feel young and thin again? Let’s go hang out with a bunch of old and fat people.”
4. “Happy birthday! You know you’re getting old when you never walk past a bathroom without saying “well, I’m here already – I may as well pee.””
5. “You know what they say: it’s better to be over the hill than buried 6 feet underneath it. Happy birthday!”
wedding anniversary message for parents
6. “On your birthday I’m going to share the secret to staying young: lying about your age.”
7. “Smile – today is your birthday. Be happy and remember that things could be worse. Just think about what you’ll be like in ten years – yikes!”
8. “Happy birthday! Congrats on joining the 28-years-old-forever club. We have millions of members all over the world.”
9. “Congratulations on finally reaching the snapdragon phase of your life: one part of you has snapped, and the other part of you is dragging. Happy birthday!”
10. “Happy birthday! They say that age is just a number. Yea right – and jail is just a room!”
11. “Don’t be bummed about your birthday! You know what they say: it’s better to be a year older than to be one month late. Happy birthday!”
mummy birthday wishes
12. “Happy birthday! Today, I would advise you to be nice to your kids. Remember, the older you get, the closer you get to having them choose a nursing home.”
13. “Wait – you’re how old today? You’re so lucky you’re not a dog. They would have put you down by now. Oh, well! Happy birthday!”
14. “Congratulations! You only look one year older than you did on your last birthday.”
15. “Happy birthday! May you live to be so old, people start wondering if you’re the walking dead.”
16. “Here’s to you on your birthday! May you live to be so old, you sincerely wish you were dead.”
17. “Happy birthday! Don’t let a 27-year old Olympic gold medal winner make you feel like a failure on your birthday.”
good night my love
18. “Happy birthday. I’m so sorry you’ve reached an age where pop culture marketers are no longer targeting you.”
19. “It’s a special day – your birthday! Let’s go out and celebrate you being one year closer to removing your age from your Facebook profile.”
20. “Happy birthday! Congrats on reaching an age that makes your receding hairline seem appropriate.”
21. “Forgetting your birthday was merely an April Fool’s Joke. Unless, of course, I did remember it, in which case – please disregard this message. Happy birthday!”
22. “I wish you a very happy birthday! Just please remember to tell me how old you’re pretending to be, so we can keep up the charade.”
23. “Happy birthday to a person whose age now makes them cry even more than the day they came into this world.”
24. “Happy birthday to someone who is now taking drugs on their birthday for serious medical reasons.”
25. “I’m so sorry for sending you belated birthday wishes. Honestly, I didn’t think you would live this long. Happy birthday!”
good morning my husband
26. “Happy birthday! I sincerely hope that you don’t take this early birthday message as a sign that you might not make it.”
27. “On your birthday, remember this: age is only a number that represents how attractive, happy and able-bodied you are. Really, it’s nothing to get worked up over. Happy birthday!”
28. “Wishes may come and go, but age always sticks with you. Happy birthday!”
29. “I believe you forgot my birthday present last year. I’m returning the favor this year. I’m afraid a Happy Birthday is all you’re going to get.”
30. “Happy summer birthday! Get out and enjoy it while you’re still young enough to not fall into the “high risk” category for heat stroke death.”
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